3. How did you keep Maslindah motivated during her treatments?

I always talk about our cute and handsome grandson with her. I told her to keep on track with all the treatments planned by the oncologist. She’s so determined to carry our grandson in her arms. This is only possible if she gets well.

4. What did you do to help Maslindah stay comfortable during her treatment?

I massaged her feet every night. If not she won’t sleep. It all happened after the surgery. She went through a 16 hour surgery so when she came out there was a bit of numbness. And of course when our feet or legs are numb, we panic. When I press her feet, it gives her comfort that her feet are still there and everything’s ok. Initially it was her left feet, now both feet. I have a few ointments by the bed side so I’m doing a service… cold ointment, hot ointment, warm ointment. I’ll do anything that makes her happy.

5. What do you both like to do as a couple when you’re not going through treatments?

We enjoy watching Netflix and talk about upcoming birthdays that month. We also look forward to our next family gathering.

6. Could you share some challenges you faced as a caregiver?

The most challenging part about being a caregiver is to watch our significant ones in pain. It’s an invisible enemy that’s hurting our loved one. I couldn’t do much to protect her. The least I could try to do is to make her feel comfortable.

7. Where do you find the inner strength to be mentally and physically strong for Maslindah?

We are practicing Muslims and we have trust in God. We do our best and we let God do the rest. In Singapore, we are blessed to have comprehensive medical experts in this field. Our medical systems and technology are world class.

9. How do you feel about Maslindah’s strength and resilience to fight cancer?

Maslindah is a superwoman without a cape. Her determination to fight cancer is amazing. She is like a soldier in the army. Every chemotherapy, operation and radiation treatment is a mission for her. Each battle she fought fiercely without stepping back.

10. How has this journey strengthened your love for each other?

This episode has strengthened our relationship so much. I vividly remember the moment she started to lose her hair, eye lashes and her finger nails became dark. I tried to hide her hair fall around her pillow before she got up and I will hide her hair fall after she took a shower. I hoped she would not see all that but eventually she realised it and decided to shave her head bald. She became so worried and depressed. We had a gathering as a family and together our sons witnessed the shaving of her head. I got my head shaved as well.

11. Could you describe how sharing your story has affected your journey as a caregiver?

By sharing my story as caregiver, now I have husbands and sons coming up to me to ask me about mammograms. I also came to realised that every son and husband has a role to play in reminding our mothers, wives or daughters to go for early screening.

12. What words of wisdom would you give to caregivers?

Please take care of your mental and physical health. Cancer speaks, reacts and attacks us differently. As a caregiver, we cannot give up. If we give up, we already lose half the battle.